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"A table near the salad bar."

'The give you too much bread here. . . Now I;m full before my dinner has even come!'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Picking pastries.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

'Don't you love these all you can eat buffets?'

French Early Bird

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

Happy hour.

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'How was the squid?'

Sinking Sand

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

Roadkill Restaurant