Buffering Warrior T-Shirts

'Nothing heightens the suspense of a good movie like buffering.'

La Table

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Squeeze a monkey! They've only gone and taken all the blanket again!"

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Organic farm

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

"She's in her happy place again."

Man in a tank with several grannies painted on the side

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

Dry Cleaning

'The good news is that I managed to install the wind turbine...'

Shuffle Zone. Please shuffle and create static electricity to power our city.

The Nine Circles of Heaven

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

'Stupid global warming!'

"Ah - the hunter-gatherer."

"Dad, Dad, the termites have found our food stash!"

"So, what makes you think I'm a therapist?"

"All the chairs have been repossessed, so these are all standing desks now."

'Whenever nubilous the nebbish grabbed his gamp.'

"I've reduced our carbon footprint and replaced all our bulbs with energy efficient low wattage ones."

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Sharp Tongue.

Cecil the Lion

"My mother would always get so angry whenever I spilled anything."

Dr. Godot's waiting room.

'Bit of a blow last night - I see the windfarms gone.'

Why do medical test results always come back on a Monday so we have to wait through the whole weekend to get our life-and-death results? You've signed a mouthful.

"I just gave you some water 20 minutes ago"

"Excellent, an unkept garden! Obviously not a keen gardener so the chances of us being poisoned here are low..."