Budget Planner Gifts

'Never, Ever...plan to pay for just an oil change when you take your car to the shop.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"What wine goes best with a cheap date?"

"I just made a health insurance payment...for the whole year! And now my head hurts."

Gee, that's a lot of money for a mattress, maybe your mother will have to stay home this summer.

"Pay to visit a GP? Don't they know we've got BETTER things to spend our money on!"

"It made more financial sense to replace the landline with a sea lion."

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

Keep the econoimy moving

"Since it didn't take long to fix your sink, I've decided to charge by the second instead of by the hour."

"I can't afford a season ticket and clothes."

"Now get out there and stimulate the economy by paying back your student loans."

'I hope he doesn't bring in a belthole tax.'

"Next year we can afford two weeks in Spain, or a drive around the block."

Low Budget Hybrid.

'It's a relatively simple operation...first, we take out your wallet...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'Today's your birthday? Then add a birthday cake to my grocery list and run an errand during lunch to the florist for flowers under $10.00.'

The X-rays reveal you to have a seriously undersized wallet.

'Lester, were you just trying to save a few bucks by using toilet paper in the fax machine, or does this mean we've been using thermal fax paper in the john for the past six months?'

'And here's our burial at sea, where we cut you up and flush you down the toilet, it's simple and fast.'

'Martha! Sew up my deep pockets - now!'

Trying to beat the rise in tobacco prices before the next budget.

"I have a plan."

“I have $3, a dairy allergy, and a very specific pallete. What can you do for me?”

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.