Budget Flier Gifts

"...He's just been flying coach for seventeen hours!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Walking Luggage.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

A private jet takes off

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'We're asking what america can do without to reduce the deficit...no, ma'ma! the Gop and Dems are not options!'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"I just..."

Airplane Mode.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."