Budget Discussion Enthusiasts Gifts

'Here's your new 2013 model car! It's called 'The Sequester.' And yes, it's an automatic!'

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'My pay envelope is empty.' - 'Your deductions equal your salary'

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

US Deficit

"Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables."

Bureau of Spending Decreases and Deficit Reduction - 'Wait a minute! How can that be?'

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

Security/Savings

'I think we should budget on the number of budgets we draw up'

Piggy Bank reads 'How to Manage Your Money.'

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Right now we're at a budget impasse. I maintain that you provide an essential service, and my wife feels that you do not."

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

Sam's Nation Building

Family Budgets

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."