Budget-conscious Guardian Gifts

Home schooling recomended

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Sam's Nation Building

'You never see one that says save some income.'

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

Back to school expenses.

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

Cashpoint machine laughs at customer.

Old Mother Cupboard in Minnesota.

'This is what telemedicine looks like for a small practice like ours.'

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

"Get used to it...I think we're going to be eating them for a while yet..."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'The armed forces are having to respond to new kinds of threat.'

'I don't care if this security software was a bargain; it shouldn't reply with 'close enough' when I enter the wrong password.'

'The good news is these grades are not good enough for me to get into an expensive college.'

What's wrong with kids nowadays?

"Give me a second, I just have to send this report...the budget cuts haven't made communicating any easier."