Budget-conscious Gift Giver Gifts

'Are you sure 15 years married is Pot Noodle? I thought it was crystal.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

Low income vampires.

Affordable housing

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

'You never see one that says save some income.'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Valentines Day card.

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

"The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?"