Budget-conscious Gift Giver T-Shirts

'Are you sure 15 years married is Pot Noodle? I thought it was crystal.'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"Natasha cuts diagnosis costs."

'You never see one that says save some income.'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

'At these prices I won't be able to say much!'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

'Private schools are really expensive these days - Why don't you home-school him?'

Valentines Day card.

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

Good vision? Save Money - Tiny Type Books.

"Our water bill is sky high. You've got to start taking shorter showers."

'Well, Mom - it's about that time when you drive us to school again...'

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

"We have our round cuts and these are our budget cuts."

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

"The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?"

Organic or Toxic - It depends what you can afford.

"Let's talk about how we're not all going to buy anything this fall."

'Take a handful. We can't afford any big bonuses this year.'