Budget-conscious Gift Seeker T-Shirts

'Take a handful. We can't afford any big bonuses this year.'

Sale.

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

Garage Music

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

'It's time you booked yourself into rehab!'

Low income vampires.

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Affordable housing

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

Avocado Prices

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

'Computer Prices' blowing away you money

January Sales

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."

Question my integrity, $10.

Valentines Day card.

'Boss, when fuel prices go down, will we go back to using our corporate jet again?'

Wine Prices

Basic Shelter.

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

"I didn't know a merry Christmas could be so cheap."

'Was I wrong in thinking that diamonds are a girl's best friend?'

One upside-down tomato planter. I can't wait for juicy, free tomatoes. It's $23.37 with tax. Not bad for homegrown tomahtas. Plus $8 for potting soil, $15 for the hanger, $11 for organic fertilizer, $16 � Hey! � Where are you going? To the "Pick and Save" market.