Budget Beast Pillows

Books balanced yet? Yes, except for the decimal point!

'Ted has devised a simple chart that explains why we need to quit buying so much stuff.'

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

"I just..."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

Occupy Budget Balancing

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Overdraft limit.

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

Your tax $ at WAR.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

'Wait a minute....!

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"I think it's time we cashed in our spare change. We could probably pay off our house."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"The government's finance settlement is coming out really late this year!"

Electricity Bills

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

'Well that's a load off my mind. Osborne's cutting the 50p tax rate.'

Boris discover is where the 'money tree' is.

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"