Budget Eater Pillows

Rene's Cafe: Eat dirt cheap.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

We'll pass on the entrees...

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

Food Prices

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

Pizza By The Slice

Al's Diner. All You Can Eat $4.95. Well, shall we scurry up and down the food chain?

"It's exactly how Jamie Oliver would make it if he couldn't afford half the ingredients either!"

'What's affordable tonight?'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

'I like my wine the way I like my prescriptions - generic.'

Please give! Buying organic food doesn't come cheap.