Budget Hero Pillows

I know you're a starving writer, but is paper really that expensive?

"I need to see your budget proposal."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I just..."

"Can you give me a haircut that says, 'If you mess with my budget I'll rip out your soul, wring it like a dish towel, and drink it from a teacup'?"

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Smart card.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Economy.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Surely you can manage on your salary!'

Small Businesses Go Under.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

Economist!

"Hired! You're just what we need in our budget office!"

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'Wait a minute....!

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

7.9% Fewer Drones

Budget Munchies

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

Electricity Bills

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'