Budget Balancer Extraordinaire Gifts

What comes after a trillion

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

State Budget.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

The Costs Of Doing War.

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Yes, you do get your bonus today. My assistant is empty the change out of the vending machine as we speak."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

The economy and the environment.

Run in the Family

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

NHS targets.

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'