Budding Academics Gifts

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Scientists are sexy

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Four children playing the flute.

Civics Class: Mock Election Today. Oh, no --- Another multiple choice test!

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

'I can't find the words to express my anger with you.' - 'She needs a dictionary.'

'Birthdays are like life...the more you have, the more illuminated you become.'

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

Hope you're still writing that novel!

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

I hear you're preaching godlessness, you little heathen. I'm preaching intellectual honesty. There is no proof of a Judeo Christian almighty. You might as well believe in Zeus or the spiritual powers of a raisin scone. Where do you think morality comes from? What do you think is the basis for our civil society? The almighty! All hail the raisin scone! HOJ.

'Your book has a wonderful, timely quality. We're putting it on our list for a 2009 release.'

Self Published

'The good news is that what you save on my hair cut can be added to my allowance.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."