Budding Academics T-Shirts

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Scientists are sexy

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Four children playing the flute.

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'I can't find the words to express my anger with you.' - 'She needs a dictionary.'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"For you young scientists who hope to do public service work someday, the following six experiments, showing the basic ideas behind chemical warfare...."

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

Hope you're still writing that novel!

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"Dear Author: Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to reject your work."

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'Your book has a wonderful, timely quality. We're putting it on our list for a 2009 release.'

'The good news is that what you save on my hair cut can be added to my allowance.'

Self Published

Vanity Publishing.