Buddies On Dates Pillows

I figured that since we were just going out for drinks, I'd invite my friend Randy. Great. It's absolutely not because I'm awkward with women and he's a stud and can give me quiet pointers when you go to the tinkle room. Ladies room. Only the occasional pointer! You're cute.

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"Do you mind?"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

In Desperate Straits.

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'It's your round.'

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

Pumpkin Spice

"It's not the heat that gets you it's the ants."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"I'm Tia Carmen...but I guess I'm not your tia, so you can just call me Carmen."

'A little kidding is OK, guys, but why do I always end up being the goat?'

'You've got to be kidding...you mean there's a recipe for this?'

"Sunsets were cooler before he wore transition lenses."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'I know the Super Bowl is about to start, Paul, but did you forget we have a date tonight?'

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

Men have only one thing on their minds. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

"Check out those two old drunks across the bar - That's us in ten years!"

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

'You'd better go home now, Ted -- I'm beginning to feel lonesome.'

Mort, sweetie, it's time for our lunch date. Can it wait? I'm in the middle of a rant. Why, that's no problem at all. In fact, I'd like to add something. But of course, my petunia. If I don't eat soon, Mort will never get another smooch! Who needs world order, really Another victory for Lip Gloss Diplomacy.