Buddhism Buff Gifts

"Nothing happens next. This is it."

'Make me one with everything.'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'Oh, sorry Dad!'

'It's nice that you just attained enlightenment, but you're not supposed to yell 'Oo-RAH!''

'Enlightenment does that to some people.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Are you sure you want to go through with this? -- some people think enlightenment is overrated.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Jean-Paul Sartre

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

'Yes, all at once!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Yes, one is a dog."

Banana Split Personality