Brotherly Advisor T-Shirts

"Second grade is tough, little brother. It's the year teachers no longer believe your dog ate your homework."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

The Brothers Grime

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Noah's lesser known brother.

Bookstore - Telling others how to improve.

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive."

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"My mom's having a baby. That automatically moves me into a middle management capacity within the family infrastructure."

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

Virtual reality mirror.

"It's not gas...it's sibling rivalry."

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

Trick Number 18: Always beat him to the phone...it's a position of power."

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

George Orwell - the early years...

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

"She might have stayed longer if you answered the door with your pants on."

Harmon Hotel

"Honey, I'm home."

Best Friend Forever

"Dear Santa, I was very good and my brother was very naughty. So you can just give me his presents this year."