Bank Advisor T-Shirts

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

British savings accounts

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'That's our mission statement.'

Jack of all trades

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'