Brotherly Advisor Gifts

"Second grade is tough, little brother. It's the year teachers no longer believe your dog ate your homework."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

The Brothers Grime

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Noah's lesser known brother.

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Bookstore - Telling others how to improve.

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

"It's up to you to keep the dream alive."

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

"The news lady says this bad guy was charged with assault...but he didn't have rifle. How's that possible?!"

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

"My mom's having a baby. That automatically moves me into a middle management capacity within the family infrastructure."

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

'I told my Mom either the sitter goes, or I go!'

"It's not gas...it's sibling rivalry."

Virtual reality mirror.

"She might have stayed longer if you answered the door with your pants on."

'Create Adam before Eve -- He'll need some time to clean up around there a little first.'

Two monks: 'Yes, I know we look like hoodies, Brother John, but I still don't want a hug!'

"Just be aware, once you go upright there's no going back."

"Honey, I'm home."

Best Friend Forever

"Dear Santa, I was very good and my brother was very naughty. So you can just give me his presents this year."

'Oh, no, I'm his brother Teeny, Weeny Todd.'