Brooklyn Gifts

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

The Anti-Agent

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Computer Room.

Polly txt speak

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"