Brooklyn Gifts

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Lynching on social media

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Anti-Agent

"Welcome to the future"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore