Bring-and-share Devotee Pillows

Church Basement Foodie

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

"...And please let the merger do through!"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"There's nothing like a dame!"

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"You should have said you wanted chairs when you booked the table."

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"Would sir like to bless the wine before I serve it?"

Dog with balloon, y-fronts, and party hat

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

'Michael left me because of my extreme couponing...at least I think he left me.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

Jeff had actually ordered Aromatic Duck

"Please welcome Big Alcohol."