Bridal Banter Enthusiast Pillows

'That's Lenny Dunkblatt. He was the best man at our wedding, which isn't saying much.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'You may now kick the bride.'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Barry's fear of commitment crops up again.

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

When Female Leopards Marry.

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

Just married.

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

Trouble Ahead

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'I'll be glad to discuss Pal's itchy skin in my office tomorrow morning, Mrs. Allan!'

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

The climatic wedding scene from "I Married the Blob"

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."