Bridal Banter Enthusiast Mugs

'That's Lenny Dunkblatt. He was the best man at our wedding, which isn't saying much.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'You may now kick the bride.'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

"His note says the bachelor party was so great, he's decided to remain a bachelor."

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

When Female Leopards Marry.

Just married.

"To begin with, he ate most of the wedding cake..."

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

'If someone objects to this union, tweet now or forever hold your peace...'

"I'm afraid it's 'I do' ... not 'Undo'."

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

Trouble Ahead

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"Man, I hate it when she sneaks up on me like that."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

'I'll be glad to discuss Pal's itchy skin in my office tomorrow morning, Mrs. Allan!'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

'Yes he WILL do all that - I'll see to it!'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."