Breath-holding Master T-Shirts

'Wow, a new personal best: You held your breath for 10mn 46s!'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

The Good Breathing Guide

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

"Whoa, too much information!"

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

Career coaching at a yoga studio

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

'I've lost my voice...'

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

"Did you forget to gargle dear? Your breath is atocious."

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

'Why is a teacher always first on the scene?'

The real reason we have natural disasters...

Holding your breath for any length of time is harder than you think!

'Be honest, how bad is it?'

'Make it sizzle? Make it pop? Am I writing a speech or frying bacon?'

"I react mindlessly, therefore I am."

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

'I admire your spirit, but enlightenment isn't the sort of thing you hustle for.'

"Al's either catching a cold or practicing for spring allergies."

'Now, the first thing is for you to extinguish your ego.' 'What? -- little old me?'