Breastfeeding Gifts

Do you ever serve chocolate milk?

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'Home from work at last!!'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Do you have a reservation?'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

A breastfeeding child learns music

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

Two breasts: No waiting

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

Parenting academy: "Right, that covers nutritional theory in the socio-economic context of class structure in a eurocentric and essentially homophobic culture...now if one of you would like to take a tit out we'll do the practical..."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Men explained.

Moms gone wild

"A table for lunch, is that breastfeeding or non breastfeeding?"

"He's such a fussy eater."

Breastfeeding

A Tit for Tat.

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

'Did you wash your hands before dinner?'

"Gotta love happy hour!"

'I have this recurring nightmare. Mum's so engorged she can't get out of bed to feed me.'

'There's only one problem drinking from these. I can't dunk a biscuit.'

Fitness Programme for babies

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I see you've had breast implants."

'What's that? A weaning petition with one signature?'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"I'll give you 15 minutes, no biting."

'Talk about being squeezed in between appointments.'

'I'm doing my bit to develop a global response as part of Fonterra's infant formula risk management strategy.'