Breastfeeding Enthusiast Gifts

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'Slow down! Are you trying to drown me?'

'Breasts can be so rude. So often they start without me.'

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Whoa

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Suffering from Cooties?

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Growth Charts

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Men explained.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'So this is goodbye then!'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Maternity Ward

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Toddler Feeding Solutions

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!