Breakup Motivator Pillows

'It's ove Jonathan. I need a man in my life who's more........al dente.'

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Large Emoticon Collider

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

The breakup

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

Support, Encourage, Inspire.

A woman buries her broken heart

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."