Breakup Anniversary Gifts

'But what hurt most, was the way she just looked at me and laughed.'

'Hurricane force winds have continued along the coast. Leaving a wide path of destruction an misery. Such as my ex-boyfriend blowing into town.'

"There are two things I don't like about him. . .His face."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Do you think we can cuddle?'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"