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Hot News.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

Scientist seen on loch.

'Democracy, okay?'

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

Russia had barely got started in Ukraine and "Gas War" against EU

Russian Hunger

"They're dumbing down the news now!"

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

Tittle and tattle.

"I'm sick of Brexit."

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

'Breaking news. . . I've just found out my wife has left me.'

"You can't send us a check and expect me to forget the killing. I also want a Trump Hotel in Saudi Arabia."

Water-main break - "Very serious." - The Times

News of the World

"Drill! Baby! Drill! Kill! Baby! Kill! Fill! Baby! Fill! Still? Baby? Still?"

"How many times have I told you not to watch the news before bed?"

"A look at the papers soon, but first the news where you are..."

How to survive election campaign debates...

It's Going to Rain!

"Stocks closed lower on the news that highs and lows are states of mind related to opiods addiction."

US Airlines on Thin Ice

Sexual Harassment Charges: 'Think! Think! What did Clinton do?'

'...In other news, fighting erupted today in a place I certainly never heard of.'

"Ah, the Trump blimp is destroying the New York Times building. Must be Tuesday."

The Trap

"Is that your phone buzzing?"

'It belonged to a very busy man who only watched 'breaking news'!'