News Headline Aficionado T-Shirts

Scientist seen on loch.

Oligarchy

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Our Two Parties, Explained

Turkish Democracy

Man Reading Laptop.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Armageddon

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'What I have to do first?!'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Putin's Mutual Destruction

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

Classic News.

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Joe Biden

Hang in There Democracy!

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

"Hey... friends and allies can trust the USA!"

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'