Breakfast Chuckler Pillows

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

Instant human... just add coffee

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'Bless you!'

'The cereal killer has struck again, Sarge.'

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'I'm gonna tell Mom you ate a bad word!'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'