Bravery In Irony Lovers Gifts

"Tomorrow I've got to go to the dentist... I'm afraid it will hurt!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Horror movies

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"How do you do it, hon? Marriage, kids, civic responsibilities, managing a multi-million dollar business and still finding time to do an 18-month stretch for securities fraud?"

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"It's the dawn of a new era"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Eat my dust!"

End the Winter Blues

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"Needs to get a life"

Cactus seats.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '