Brand Name Collector Pillows

"You must be terribly proud. It's the finest thing you've done."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Starbucks Siren

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"After six weeks of camping out here to observe our operations, the design firm has created a new logo. It's our company's name in blue lower-case letters."

A cat spells out Google in its litter box.

"Nobody loved little William Poopy-Pants."

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Jones.

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

"Well, well, well! Your parents certainly messed up when they named you, didn't they, Angelo?"

'How come it's always me who has his name taken?'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

Crocodile with man logo on polo

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Your husband will love this cologne. It has that new car smell.

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

Tombstones with convention name tags

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"I'm having an identity crisis. I can't keep track of whether I'm Nana, Mimi, or Grandma Wolcott."

"It's a brand name. Honestly, we have nothing to do with Q."

"Land salmon. . ."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Back to school expenses.

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