Bragging T-Shirts

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'She's so put together!'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"Botox."

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

A Salmon Lie

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

"Edwin says Cole Porter is overrated."

At Gossips Anonymous...

A general points out his ribbons which signify films he has watched.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."

'002' - A discussion about 007.

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

Live water cooler.

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"I'm dating a much younger guy....makes sense, my ex was a cheetah."

"He leaves the Sendak lying around, but he's never actually read it."