Bottom Line Enthusiast Gifts

'If you wear 3-D glasses, it makes their indifference to anything but the bottom line see more lifelike.'

'You're obsessed with the bottom line. I like that in an employee!'

". . . And you thought last month's sales figures just happened?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

DIY marriage counseling.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'They never quite finished it - it was probably over budget.'

The spend is high

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Family planning - 'I was thinking something low maintenance.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'I'll do half of it.'

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

"But is it..?"

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'I don't really have a personal best. I'm just sort of OK all the time.'

"Well, apparently a mission statement and a value statement are not the same thing."

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"An eight year old could do this. . .!!"

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."

Tony Blair - EU budget.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

Man and woman with laundry