Bottle Swiper Pillows

Amateurs de vin...

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Turtle Hat

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"Quick swig first?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Wino Appreciation Group

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

Bottle tossing

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Submarine

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

'Stand back! Let the wine breathe.'

'Mom, it's doing it again'

Big smart phone and small tablet.

We're looking for a few greedy people.

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

Tommy, I have a question for you. I didn't do nothin'. We're missing a scone. Now, no one's accusing you of anything. I swear, you've got the wrong guy. I definitely didn't take a scone when you went to check email because I was super hungry. You have the right to remain silent. I did it!

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

Wine charmer

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'