Bottle Flipper Pillows

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Quick swig first?"

The first animation.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'All our appliances come with energy saving device - off/on switch.'

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

Bottle tossing

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Books: Book on tape then back on book, then back on tape again. . . sold here!

On - Undecided - Off switch

The Overturned Desk - Therapy for writer blocked authors and artists,

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

'Marge tells me you're a welder by profession.'

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

Amateurs de vin...

'It's not my fault sales are down. The economy has made buyers homeophobic.'

OWZAT...The beer-mat-flipping champion sets a new world record!

'OK, heads we name your malady after you, tails, we name it after me.'

'Let's see, you folks need to sell your home before you buy a new one. How about waiting in the lobby for 2 or 3 years.'

"Oh them, They're contrarians."

'Well, we have to make a decision. Heads he's a pessimist, tails he's a realist.'

Second hand furniture,second hand homes.

"For the next meeting of our book club, we really need more books."

"And here's the basement – or as I see it, the poor man's French Riviera."

"For heaven's sake, Harold - would it hurt you to lick you finger!?"

Nursing a Hangover

'Doing fine, thanks. I've narrowed it down to one of these.'