Bottle Buster Pillows

"Seriously, you don't know how to float?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I never get a good night's sleep. Thank God for these office meetings!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Wine Talking

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wino Appreciation Group

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

The housing market begins to deflate.

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."

"I have no head for show business."

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

'Stand back! Let the wine breathe.'

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

'The merlot is 100 merlot; the pinot noir is 100 pinot noir, and the chardonnay is 100 Swiss chard.'