Botanical Mystic Gifts

A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for life.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

Plugged In

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

Escaping Flowers

"The scientists never stopped to ask if they should - only if they could."

Bishop sprinkling holy water on his potted plants.

"Is there a vegan substitute for eye of newt?"

"I need to know what the future holds, at least for the next six weeks."

"You're not a goat person?"

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

'Excuse me -- did you happen to noticed which mountain I fell off of?'

Celebrity anagrams: I'm a rock child me (Answer: Charlie Dimmock)

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

Grigori Rasputin

"Tell him I'd like to speak to his supervisor."

Grimm's Fairytales - The Elfin-grove

'Wow, he survived! I didn't have a clue what his doctor scribbled down when I filled that prescription.'

Psychic Hotline: Don't call us - we'll call you!!

Venus Perjury Trap

Flower poaching water from the neighbouring flowerpot.

Ruth began to regret visiting the homoeopathic practitioner.