Bossy Toddlers Gifts

"He likes it."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Babies vs. Dogs

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

A mum trying to dry an excited child

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'I've got to go, Mom -- my playgroup called an emergency meeting.'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

"Being a working Mom is tough. All the whining and temper tantrums, and that's just my boss."

It's time for a corporate shakeup. You squeeze, I'll stir.

'What I enjoy most, is bossing people around!'

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'

'Just remember that until you grow into a huge tree, I'm the grown-up around here!'

Poker Moms

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'See! It's all in the wrist.'

'Call the shrink. Herold's experiencing his first case of rug rage!'

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

'Well, if my son does have a belligerent attitude, then he must have picked it up here at school.'

'Quit always tryin' to tell me what to do!'

'Typical new dad: the kid's still a maggot - barely able to squirm - but Dewey's already brought him a regulation size football.'

'Henderson - Come in here and rub my belly.'

'George - just what we need to help you get on your high horse!'

'Gimme a drink! His screeching siren stuck,coming back from the shops.'

"Look, who's driving this car, you or your mum?"

"Okay - we need to find something for you kids to do this summer..."

"Your mother tells me she caught you paying for porn and I'm very disappointed in you. . ."

My child could be a honor student if he tried harder.

'You remind me of my mother - She's always telling me what to do, too!'