Bossiness Combatant Gifts

'Quit always tryin' to tell me what to do!'

"He likes it."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Human Resources Dept. When the boss says you're on the "short list" for promotion, it's not a crack about your height.

'My God! It's Hastings, Van Witten, Rosten and Traver, Inc!'

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

"Watch these old guys- you can learn a lot."

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

Sad businessman with sinking profits

'If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?'

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

'Would you run this past my 'yes men' and give me their feedback on it?'

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'We're not clear who is running your company.'

"Can you skip to the part that doesn't suck?"

"I made the mistake of asking my boss for an office with a view."

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'

'Why hide it. I do this for me.'

Cat to boss: 'May I have some maternal leave this afternoon?'

"Hard work got me to where I am today and yours will help ensure I stay there."

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

"Why, thank you, pembroke. It is a harebrained idea."

"And yet, as we look at our lives, can't many of us say, 'My cubicle is too small?"