Borrowing Books Pillows

"Are you planning on just looking at that book or are you gonna borrow it?"

"Can you lend me a book?"

'Those two are not fiction, I hope.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Blue Stockings

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

No-Work Orange

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Television Readers.

Bookworm Sleepover

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Rare Books

Silence of the Chickens...