Borough Banter Lover Prints

How very Hampstead!

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

'First time I've seen a law degree with an expiration date.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Can we discuss this?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'Here comes Ted.'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

BEER BELLY

"The only thing trivial about pursuing this trivial lawsuit is my fee!"

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'