Bookstore Fan Gifts

'Nobody regrets your mother's death-bed confession more than I do...'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

The practical psychopath

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

Monster Self-Help

Books - Cartoon Collections: HumorGraphic NovelsBlasphemy.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

Books 'n' Carrots

Books: Bartlett's Familiar Retweets

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

Books On Paper

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

"You're a writer? But what do you do for money?"

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

Edit the Author 6-7

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"Then the proprietor said, we'll publish and be damned, so we did and here we are."

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

Meet the Oar-thor.

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

Hypnotizing Women

Spirituality.

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

'Self-help books for cynics'

Ask Us About Gift Wrapping

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

"I'll take this Feng Shui for Cats. And spare me the eye-rolls, please."