Bookish Soulmate Pillows

"Arthur and I both like books with unreliable narrators. The problem is that he only reads nonfiction."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The practical psychopath

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Do it yourself books.

'Out, damned Spot.'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

Tree Funeral

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

K9 Literati.

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

'Good book?'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

John Galsworthy

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

'It's okay dear. He's my ghostwriter.'

"School is loverly this time of year."

Fairy narratives

My youthful jacket blurb writing showed such excitement, he thought with a sigh.

"By the way, what's your position on some-sex marriage?"