Bookish Banter Lover Pillows

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"You're going to hate yourself."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

The Farmer Sutra.

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

Will Self deprecation

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

Home Business - Wife.

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

"I love you." "I love you less."

Cylinder Head

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

Fairy narratives

Mysteries of the ocean...

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."