Bookish Banter Lover T-Shirts

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"You're going to hate yourself."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

The Gilmore Girls

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Cold caller.

Will Self deprecation

The Farmer Sutra.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

Home Business - Wife.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

Cylinder Head

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Mysteries of the ocean...

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

Fairy narratives

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'