Bookish Storyteller Pillows

A teacher with a TV for a head reads a book to their students.

Fairy narratives

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Do it yourself books.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'Hard to follow...'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Tree Funeral

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Reading in the family.

"Wow - A flying Chaucer!!"

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Good book?'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Will Self deprecation

John Galsworthy

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Meet The Ghostwriter

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'