Bookish Buddy Pillows

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

'Take it from me - after all, I'm in the second grade - learning is a slow, slow process.'

Slow down!

"Everybody wants to meet the author, but nobody wants to read the book."

"I decided to self-publish."

"School is loverly this time of year."

"Me, my eyesight is rather bad, so I prefer audio-books..."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Sue the Author 3PM

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

Library

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

"You'll never believe who's here."

The discovery of a 51st shade of grey was met with mixed reviews.

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

James Joyce

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

"This is a 'warts and all' biography with some really great warts."

'I had a dream that Oprah is going to recommend your book!'

'I hate these literary parties. All everyone does is sit around and complain about their publishers. Take mine for instance ...'